2020 Dem Hopefuls Are Looking More "Joke" Than "Woke"--and Biden Leads the Way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r7bHLcsaC4

The Mueller Report—or at least the AG’s summary of it—has essentially completely cleared President Donald Trump, his family and campaign of colluding with Russia during the 2016 election. This turn of events makes much less likely Trump will face a primary challenge. Sorry Jeb Bush.

So, what do the Democrats do? Without Russia, Russia, Russia to run on as they did in the 2018 midterms, where do they shake out?

Well, so far, the Democratic 2020 Presidential hopefuls are a parade of bizarre candidates desperately trying to “out-woke” each other.

From co-sponsoring a non-binding resolution supporting the Green New Deal—but then refusing to vote for it—to championing the (possibly well-intentioned—unless you are cynical, like I am) completely unworkable reparations for ancestors of slavery, to packing the Supreme Court and eliminating the Electoral College, the declared Democratic challengers are running as far to the left edge of insanity as they can.

For many, that’s not enough to turn on all those young voters, whether Millenials or 16-year olds if Nancy Pelosi has her way. Just ask AOC. Everyone, y’know, supports, like, preventing climate change from, like, killing us in the next 12 years.

If you are a presidential hopeful trying to appeal to voters, how do you separate yourself? You gotta be cooler. Hipper. More “woke.”

It’s why Robert Francis O’Rourke—“Beto” as he likes to be called, “Bete Noire” as I like to call him—rides a skateboard, supports pot legalization, belonged to a hacker group called the Cult of the Dead Cow, and wrote weirdly offensive poetry (WARNING: SEXUALLY CHARGED LANGUAGE) under the name “Psychedelic Warlord.” He hasn’t firmly staked out any real policy positions yet, choosing at this juncture to run on wild hand gestures matched with sweeping, vague leftist rhetoric. But, hey, allegedly he once fed his wife a turd telling her it was brown avocado. I mean, like, who doesn’t do that? Can you feel the love?

Not to be outdone, Kamala Harris explains her support for pot legalization because half her family is from Jamaica, duh! Oh, and she happily admits to toking up regularly in college while maybe or maybe not listening to Snoop Dog and Tupac—both of their first albums came out years after she graduated. Her history as a prosecutor is, checkered at best. Otherwise, she cool, she woke. But with a Jamaican father and Tamil Indian mother, some “progressives” wonder, “Is she black enough”?

We know Elizabeth Warren can’t “out woke” Kamala on the race issue since the whole Native American heritage “23 and Me” debacle. But that’s not stopping Fauxcahontas from staking out radical leftist positions to outflank her opponents. One small example, she has voiced support for reparations for slave descendants and suggested the same for Native Americans. Sure, why not? And shouldn’t we include Mexico and the descendants of Mexican fighters for unfairly taking Texas, the southwest, and California? I’d recommend to Fauxcahontas we have Bezos, Gates and Buffet pay for reparations with the wealth tax she supports but I’m sure she has other ideas on how to spend that money.

Jay Inslee, the governor of Washington, is so environmentally woke he is running his entire 2020 campaign on climate change. If you buy the Chicken Little, 12 years to fix climate change or apocalypse claptrap, then Inslee is probably your guy. He also likes to take credit for presiding over the nation’s best state economy. Hmmm, I didn’t realize Microsoft, Boeing, Amazon and Starbucks set up shop after Inslee took office in 2013.

Cory Booker, a self-admitted perpetrator of sexual battery, is an “all of the above” leftist who decries “the persistence of racism, the persistence of white supremacy and implicit racial bias,” in America. Sounds like he fits in the Andrew Cuomo-Eric Holder “America was never great” fringe. Even the decidedly non-conservative Daily Beast questions Booker’s bona fides. But at least he’s woke on race.

Straight white guy John Hickenlooper is persona non grata from the jump because of his straightness, whiteness, and his guy-ness. He lacks the instant woke cred of some of his competitors. But he did take his mom to see “Deep Throat” and is willing to go full tilt Wilt Chamberlain about his own sexual conquests. And as governor of Colorado he championed pot legalization. Maybe Millennials will move him up the board if he starts to hang out with Kamala, Bete Noire and Snoop and, you know, just tokes up and chills, bruh. I realize I haven’t mentioned Crazy Uncle Bernie. Is any explanation necessary there?

But the real threat is the leader in the polls. Yes, despite his straightness, whiteness, guy-ness and oldness, Jokin’ Joe Biden currently tops the list of contenders. The idiotic comments and statements Biden has made over the 130 years he has been in politics are legion—too many to recount here. They also rival those of the guy whose office he’d like to take.

Biden’s most recent attempt to show how woke he is should put the final nail in the coffin of any presidential aspirations.

In a recent speech in New York (video above), Biden launched a broadside against “English Jurisprudential culture”. See, according to the august former Vice-President, “In the 1900s so many women were dying at the hands of their husbands because they were chattel, just like the cattle, or the sheep, that the court of Common Law decided they had to do something about the extent of the deaths. You know what they said? No man has a right to chastise his woman with a rod thicker than the circumference of his thumb. This is English Jurisprudential culture, a white man's culture. It's got to change. It's got to change."

You can hear in the video his strong emphasis on the first syllable of culture, as if he is dog-whistling the word as “KKKulture” to be more woke.

Let’s look at the absurdity of this claim more closely. Remember, Biden is a lawyer. That doesn’t make him smart or wise—there are plenty of dumb and unwise lawyers out there—but it does mean he should know something about American jurisprudence. Sadly, he knows precious little.

The rule of thumb has nothing to do with rods or thumb circumferences much less killing women. This is well known and easily provable, even without Google. It simply means an approximated standard. If you want to visit Disneyland, you might plan based on the rule of thumb that summer months will be busier than other times. Whatever time of year you decide to go, you might encounter a lighter or heavier attendance, but generally summers are busier. Regardless of your thumb size.

The next problem is his criticism of the 1900s court of Common Law. Precisely what Jokin’ Joe means is unclear. American women secured the right to vote when the 19th Amendment was ratified on August 26, 1920. Did the suffrage process take too long? Yes. But where are the early 20th Century media reports of the bodies of dead women piled up in the streets by their rod-wielding husbands? Biden doesn’t show us.

Moreover, is Biden suggesting women were “chattel” on August 25, 1920 and then were miraculously elevated to full human status, with the right to vote, overnight? Surely, this would be an odd claim considering “free white women” (and “other free persons”) have been counted in the census since 1790. Yet it’s hard to read his words any other way.

Perhaps the worst part of Biden’s diatribe is his demand that this jurisprudential KKKulture’s “got to change.” Is he suggesting we still (falsely) legally approve of men beating their women-folk with thumb-thickness rods? Or that America’s justice system remains pervasively misogynist, racist, bigoted and unfair, as if it has not evolved over the last 250 years? Does Biden not realize this jurisprudential culture is the reason we have the right to the presumption of innocence? The right to confront accusers? The right to a jury trial? The right to be free of unlawful searches or seizures? The right to an attorney in a criminal case?

Which “jurisprudential culture” would he prefer? It’s a legitimate question given his clear disdain for ours.

This past week, new laws went into effect in Brunei that would enhance penalties for many, including homosexuals. Brunei has enacted Sharia-consistent laws since around 2014. Now Brunei will permit whipping of homosexuals, or stoning them to death. They will also begin amputating the right hand of thieves for a first offense, the left foot for a second offense. Brunei’s justice system is based on the British system just like ours, though they also have separate Sharia courts. Since Jokin’ Joe condemns ours, does he think Brunei has got it right?

Saudi Arabia frequently faces criticism for its treatment of law breakers. This past week, previously detained women testified in Riyadh about in-custody electric shocks, floggings and other heinous acts. No word on the thumb circumferences of the jailers, though. Maybe he thinks the Saudis have it figured out.

The juxtaposition of these stories with Biden’s remarks this week is sad.

He knows better and he can’t really like these “jurisprudential cultures” more than ours.

His effort is to look less white, less straight, less male, less old, and more woke. Instead, he just looks more foolish. Bete Noire O’Rourke has humbly confessed his “white privilege”—Jokin’ Joe will probably follow suit soon or risk looking like an old, straight, white guy.

It’s a long political season. Biden and his fellow 2020 Democratic contenders will assuredly continue to flank left and try to “out woke” each other. Expect the use of more America bashing, race baiting, selective and false historical information, Alinsky-ite subterfuge, and other well-worn leftist tactics.

May the most woke win the nomination.

If Jokin’ Joe wants it, perhaps he'll name Jussie Smollet as his running mate.